It felt strange to walk back to the car by myself. For the first time in 7 years there is no child in my care. Sure, I’ve had babysitters here and there, I worked at the wine store or ran a wine-tasting and left the kids in someone else’s care, but this feels very different.
All three of my children are in school.
I came home, cleaned the kitchen, made the pasta sauce for tonight’s dinner, did some laundry, read e-mails, wrote a blog post and read a few others all in a span of 3 hours. I still have another hour and half before heading back to school and I’ve already accomplished more than I usually do in 2 days.
You have a life before you become a mother. Then, once you have a baby, being a mother becomes your life.
I’ve gone through all of the early childhood phases now. I’ve had three pregnancies, three beautiful babies, three periods of newborn sleeplessness, three first foods, three first teeth, three first steps with the help of table edges or nice baby walkers turning them into little sprinters… I’ve breastfed, I’ve bottle-fed, I’ve been spit up on, peed on and changed many messy diapers.
I’ve taken care of sick babies, injured babies, sad toddlers and temper tantrums. I’ve read hundreds of books, sung hundreds of songs, and kissed those 3 pairs of cheeks thousands of times. I’ve been the blessed giver and receiver of hugs 24-hours a day, 7 days a week.
Now… 18 hours of my week will be spent child-free. 18 hours. 3 days from 9am to 3pm I am on my own. I am no longer solely responsible for the care and education of my son. It is the first day of the next phase of my life.
Some women wonder what to do at this point in their lives, but I know. I am stepping into being my whole self. Wife, Mother and Woman – a trinity of the feminine. For years the balance has tipped heavily on the first two, but now it is the woman’s turn to shine. Balance will be restored. “Mrs” and “Mommy” will make room again for “Tamara.” In a few month’s time I’ll be a certified Passion Test Facilitator. I’ll be coaching women like me to find and fulfill their greatest passions.
I love my roles as wife and mother. I love my family. But I am on fire to live a part of my life again just for me. The best part of it? The “just for me” bit is going to bring so much more to my family and to the world than if I continued to devote every waking moment to home, husband and children.
Watch me shine, people!